From Dr. Baker's New Book

Jesus, the Greatest Therapist Who Ever Lived
Now available from Amazon.

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The Secret to Surviving Suffering

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.
Trust in God; trust also in me.”
John 14:1

Jesus taught that the key to surviving suffering was to remain connected to God. If we allow God to remain with us in our suffering, no matter how bad it feels, we can mature through the difficult times. The intolerable becomes tolerable if we do not have to endure it alone.

Armand is happily married with two children and runs his own business in a rural area. He has several friends, attends church regularly, and is well respected in the community. If you asked him, Armand would tell you he has a good life. But he has not always felt this way.

Armand grew up with an alcoholic father who was abusive toward him, his brothers, and his mother. He can remember many nights as a child pretending he was asleep to avoid contact with his father. He would cry himself to sleep listening to his parents fighting in the other room. Armand hated his childhood, and he hated his father for making life so miserable for them all.

Many children grow up in abusive or alcoholic families and perpetuate in their own adult lives the patterns of abuse and alcoholism that they hated so much as children. As odd as this might seem, it happens frequently. But this did not happen with Armand. His childhood was horrible, and he is very clear about that. But Armand was able to survive it and move on to have a relatively normal and happy life. How did he do that? Armand would tell you the answer was two things: God and his brother Tomas.

Tomas was Armand’s older brother by two years. They fought as all brothers tend to do, but when their father would come home drunk late at night, something changed between them. Tomas and Armand no longer had anything to fight about between them; there was something much bigger that they needed to face together—their alcoholic father. The frightening and confusing way their father would treat them and their mother forced a bond between Tomas and Armand. Tomas said their father could destroy his own life if he wanted, but he vowed to Armand that he would never let him destroy theirs.

“He’s been drinking again,” Armand whispered softly to Tomas as they hid in their dark room.

“Don’t worry Armand,” Tomas whispered back to him. “I won’t let him hurt you.”

“I afraid,” Armand whispered in an even softer voice.

“Don’t worry,” Tomas called back. “I’m here.”

And as soon as Tomas was old enough to confront their father, he kept his word to Armand. Tomas and his mother demanded that he leave and never come back. Partially because he wanted to move away to another city and partially because of their threat, their father did leave, and they never heard from him again.

Armand believes that God preserved them from a worse fate because of his childhood prayers for protection. He also believes that God sent him Tomas as an older brother so he wouldn’t have to suffer the events of his childhood nightmare alone.

Armand would never want to relive his childhood. It felt awful growing up in an abusive family, but it was tolerable because he always knew Tomas would be there to protect him and understand how he felt. His life is better today because he had someone to share his pain with during the difficult times. This is the secret to surviving suffering that Jesus wanted us to understand.

Some of the wisest people I know have suffered a great deal in life, but so have some of the most bitter people I know. Jesus knew that suffering could make us either better or bitter. His own suffering was an inevitable part of his life, and facing that suffering well was central to his mission on earth.

Jesus demonstrated how to survive suffering as an example for everyone. He didn’t write a book about suffering or hold a series of lectures on the subject, but he did model it for us. Even in his most difficult times, Jesus never lost his connection to God. He didn’t try to go through suffering alone. He didn’t want us to try to do that either.

Spiritual Principle: Suffering is tolerable if you do not have to endure it alone.

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Dr. Baker's New Book will be available October 2007.
Jesus, the Greatest Therapist Who Ever Lived
Now available from Amazon for pre-order.